The Disappointment That is Don Jon


Joseph Gordon-Levitt has stolen my heart (and eyes, hehe) since 500 Days of Summer so I was very much excited and intrigued when I heard of this movie. This movie, as it turns out, is a brazen romantic comedy about porn. JGL directs and stars here.


Don Jon is a guy who has no trouble getting any girl, thus he earned the nickname from his buddies. And Jon is an in denial porn junkie. Like all men, maybe. Maybe.


His relationships are affected because of his addiction. He likes porn better than actual sex. There’s a lot of boobs, butts, humps and pumps in this movie. But there are still more in The Wolf of Wall Street.


Porn junkie falls in love with Barbara (Scarlett Johansson) but finds that he still couldn’t stop watching porn. I mean, what’s wrong with him? She’s HOT. Oh yeah, she’s a pretty, smart, controlling bitch who won’t let him clean because it’s unsexy, and hates porn because it’s disgusting and pathetic.


Besides porn, the other things important to him is his family, his bros, his church, his pad, his car, and working out. I becae more amused in his relationship with his family than his whole porn ordeal. Tony Danza (so 80’s hahaha) plays his dad here.


He meets Julianne Moore’s character who’s just recently widowed. This is where I was already beginning to cringe. I prayed that it won’t be predictable but damn. DAMN. Cougar sex and smoking weed. UGH. Was I expecting something artsy? I guess. I didn’t see that at all.


So Jon realizes that he just needs to lose himself in a woman who will also lose herself to him and that woman isn’t Barbara. And fuck yeah, it’s the older woman. But basically, all I really understood are missionary is boring and giving head is essential. The point is? (There is none.)


He stopped watching porn and continued seeing the older woman. Enter corny making love frames and romantic drives. Uhhh… Okaaaay… I think I spent almost 2 hours waiting for something important to happen. Didn’t happen. Zzzzzz. Sorry, JGL. I heart you but not this.

// listening to Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch – Good Vibrations


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